Captains log

I’ve been told that the foreclosure process is all about fear.
This is my experience too

I’m trying everything I can to protect myself and my family.

As a working single mom this is not easy.

We’ve suffered so much around this already
I had stopped smoking tobacco and I felt so much better.
I also feel better when I feel safe.
Where is the safety that I need?
This is not my beautiful life, is it?

My challenge is to be kind and gentle with my own self.. whatever happens with the house, my daughter needs me. And I need me. All of me.
One has got to know oneself pretty well

Feeling so frightened
Crying
Panic attacks
This is no way to live
Neither is poverty
Oh what to do?
Surely I have more choices than what I see before me?

I feel so alone and frightened

Managed to cry out enough to fill out and send the application for assistance, and go back to work. Short day, came home early to find a letter from the banks attorney offering $2500 cash for jets if I sign an undisclosed agreement not to fight anymore
More tears

Made it to the zendo, an hour if silent meditation really helped! And wow! At the end there was a chant:
creations are innumerable, I vow to release them
Delusions are many, I vow to transform them
Reality is boundless, I vow to perceive it
The awakened way is unsurpassable, I vow to embody it

Andvacwoman spoke: let me remind you,  do not squander your life!

To bed early for me after miso soup and a hot bath